Yesterday, Joel and I were out again scavenging for food in the SOMA. As usual, it’s hard to find a restaurants that we’re not tired of yet. And please, don’t even let me go into how often we’ve head to OSHA on 2nd street, desperate for something to eat after a long networking event offering stale-tasting finger foods.

This time, we decided to head up to Union Square. Finally, after some deliberation, we entered a touristy Italian place for a satisfactory meal. I ordered the Sauvignon Blanc, a white wine. Bad idea.

The wine that was served to me was the worst glass of Sauvignon Blanc (or any other wine) that I’ve ever had. Let me talk you through the wonders of how bad this was.

Sauvignon Blanc is supposed to hit you hard. Crisp. Clean. Acidic. These are the words that should pop into your mind as the wine first hits your mouth. When this particular wine hit my mouth, I thought the waiter had mistakenly given me water. Flat. Tasteless. Insipid.

After the SB hits you, there should be a development of floral flavors as the wine develops in your mouth. A nice finish should end the tasting. However, after the tasteless beginning that my wine had yesterday, it began to develop a little and then whimpered and died. It was the most pathetic excuse for a SB, like a sedated rendition of Beethoven’s Fifth. The interpretation of the grape left a sour taste in my mouth.

I’ll never order wine in Union Square again.

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